Okay, this blog has nothing to do with jewelry. Not even an iota. So if you're checking out this post thinking I have some revelation about jewelry, move on. Mainly, this post is to show you, dear reader, why I should not be allowed past Yarmouth. Because after that, everything in Maine is just out of reach. But I digress.
It all started with me going "up to camp", located in the very rural area of Bowerbank, Maine. Mostly known for a lot of American flags and access to Sebec Lake. As I was only going for the weekend, I spontaneously invited my daughter, Michaela, to come with me. She accepted in a heartbeat. If only she knew......
It starts to get complicated. This past Saturday was Michaela's dad's birthday. He passed away a few years ago, and she asked if we could make a side trip to visit his grave in Lincoln. Maine, of course. Sure, no problem. So if you're looking at a clock, picture camp being where 10 o'clock would be, about 3 hours away, and the cemetery at 12:00 o'clock, also about three hours away. We leave from Portland, make the trip to Lincoln without a hitch. Visit for a bit, reminisce, do a little emotional eating consisting of McDonald's fries and chocolate shakes, and then get ready to move on. So now we're trying to get from 12:00 to 10:00 with no idea how to get there, and hopefully not having to backtrack too terribly far. I Google Maps the location of the camp. BIG MISTAKE.
Google Maps lulls you into a false sense of security. I mean, they have satellite, right? And they're a humongous company, they have all this high tech stuff to make sure you get where you're supposed to be, right? WRONG. You've heard that story about how you can put a frog in a pan of warm water, and just by heating it slowly, it never realizes it's being cooked and doesn't jump out? As this story progresses, imagine me as the frog, and the water is heating up.
We go south a bit then west, makes sense. We're talking about her dad, Nana, his family, etc. Trip is nice, weather is beautiful. Google is directing us this way and that, not a worry in a world. Then she (Google) tells us to take a right on some road. We go right past, not even seeing it. She tells us to make a U turn. Okay, head onto this random road. It's dirt, not pavement. Okay, not a big deal. There's a pickup truck coming towards us. Okay, so there's traffic. Good. On we go.
So, it's pretty much a two lane dirt road, pretty dry. We're going along and we take a sharp turn past this little camp and start heading up some hillier areas. See that there's a lot of bare areas. Ok, I'm thinking. We're on a logging road. Again, not terribly concerning. I mean, there are logging roads up north that are used as regular roads. And if you've seen logging equipment, there are those tractor trailers that have to get in there to load the trees, and skidders, and trucks to haul in the skidders. Hey, this girl lived in Lincoln for 10 years, she knows a logging road when she sees one. If those big vehicles are coming in and out, then I can too, right? Google wouldn't steer me wrong, would she? YES, SHE WOULD!
After we go by these harvested areas, we're on a more narrower road. And it seems like everything is a dog leg. Go 1/2 mile, take a hard left. Go 1.4 miles, take a hard right. We're going over handmade wooden bridges. Still, I'm not terribly alarmed, I mean we have one of those bridges heading into camp. But the grass is getting thicker on the center part of the road. And the bushes are getting closer. A lot closer. They're scratching the sides of the car.
Still, trying not to freak out. We're going about 10 miles an hour now, sometimes there's deep ruts filled with water that we have to go through. Sometimes I have to avoid big gullies. And big rocks. At one point, I stopped and asked Michaela to move a rock because I wasn't sure the bottom of the car was going to clear it. And then we see the sign.
BRIDGE NOT SAFE FOR TRUCK
Shoot. I'm thinking. (If you know me, you know that "shoot" is not really part of my vocabulary, but I'm trying to keep it G rated), but there's no bridge in sight. Which is good, because there is absolutely NO PLACE TO TURN AROUND. Onward. Sometimes, we'd be going down a hill and it stopped being a road, and turned into granite ledge. No lie, I am internally FREAKING OUT. Maybe a little externally too. Then we see the bridge.
It's a wooden platform . It's at the top of a slight incline. No sides, but it has timbers on either side, about 6 inches high. I'm looking at the bridge, trying to calculate if my car is narrow enough to get over it. Or will my tires go over the side. And it's about 6 feet down to the gully. I look at Michaela. "Ready?" She nods, and I GUN IT, figuring if it's going to collapse I want to be on the other side. Success. We stop and take a minute to take a few deep breaths.
Still we are traveling these crazy roads. And Google is saying "take a left on Back Neighborhood Road" "Take a right on Dow Road" Then it becomes quite evident. WE ARE NOT ON ROADS!!! WE ARE ON ATV TRAILS!!! Google decided to take us up and over a mountain as opposed to directing us on paved roads.
When we finally pop out of this trail, I asked Michaela to take a picture. You can't even see the trail. There are signs with arrows, and signs showing pictures of trail riders pointing to the direction we just came from. No person in their right mind would go in there with a vehicle.
Which leads me to talk about my car. It's a Mercedes GLK 350. 2011. Bought it at an auction.They actually stopped making them. Picture a little wagon type. But it has all wheel drive and I have to say, if I were driving a Mini Cooper, or a Buick, or a Camry, or many many other types of cars, my car would have had to have been towed out. This car, had my back. Especially when Google Maps didn't. My poor little city car, (and this city girl) may never be quite the same.
So a big THANK YOU to Mercedes Benz for making a car that can take you places you shouldn't even think about going. AND a big raspberry to GOOGLE MAPS. THANKS FOR NOTHING.
#MercedesMudding #LoveMyMercedes #MercedesSavedMyLife #GoogleMapsSUCKS #YouCan'tGetThereFromHere #AnATVTrailIsNotARoad #WhatWereYouThinkingGoogleMaps #OnlyInAMercedes